Zeenat's Blogs: Life in Bristol 2016-17
Creative Content Internship
PROVOCATION 101
Hey there,
I’m Zeenat, and I’ve recently joined the team here at Rising. My job is pretty much straightforward: ramble on about various issues in the hope that it sparks something in those beautiful brains of yours.
Although I currently study, work and live in Bristol, my roots will always be firmly planted in the East End of London. Moving from a BAME-dominated area to the suburbs of Bristol really messed with my head and had me in a state of crisis, questioning my own identity. I’ve recently become more politically active, which in turn helped me open up my mind and also open my heart to my cultures once again.
A lot of what I’ll be discussing will be quite controversial and may cause a bit of a stir…too bad. We need to talk more about issues affecting our society, and less about how the youth today are ‘too sensitive’. The youth aren’t being heard loud enough so I encourage you to find a space, and build your platforms; education is so, so important!
It’s great to finally feel like I can speak openly about issues affecting me, and those around me. Even better, to do it without having to walk on eggshells for fear I’ll cause a privileged person to feel uncomfortable. Marginalised groups have kept quiet for far too long in order to spare the feelings of those outside their groups. But this is no longer about those of you that become uneasy at the idea of equality; this is about a revolutionary generation. However, guys, gals, and non-binary pals, I must dash, but I’ll be here again next week – watch this space!
(Ooh, and before I go, a quick ‘thank you’ to Sarah, Gill, Kamina and Eli for this opportunity and for all your support.)
Peace, love, and sugar puffs,
Zeenat Afzal
Photo credit: Great Little Place Called Bristol: http://greatlittleplacecalledbristol.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/squats-empty-buildings-and-social.html
Photo credit:
Great Little Place Called Bristol
HOMELESSNESS — 10/11/2016
cw: suicide mention
Back in 2010, Bristol City Council only counted 8 rough sleepers within the city.
Later, between 2014 and 2015, the homelessness figure climbed from 41 to 97, a figure which is unlikely to be accurate.
Don’t believe me? Take a walk through the Bearpit and Stokes Croft, and you’ll count far more than 97. Not enough people are taking the homelessness crisis seriously, and negative attitudes are stigmatising the people who need support most.
The Bearpit is a very familiar spot for local young people. It’s covered in murals and has music bursting from every tunnel, but these days it’s not what it once was, due largely to gentrification.
Gentrification is an insidious form of urban colonialism which invades and erases community spaces. Gentrifiers are erecting stalls and shops in places where the homeless community gather. Although admittedly this helps small, independent business, it is also redefining the Bearpit, alienating homeless people and perpetuating a cycle of displacement which follows them wherever they go.
As a community it is our responsibility to do something. If you can’t give them a few bob or buy them anything, then just sit down for a chat, and the buskers will probably play music to show their gratitude for your presence. We need to keep working in the hope that one day we won’t have people sleeping rough because they’ve been failed by the system. Hopefully one day everyone will receive the mental and physical support they need. Homelessness should not be a reason to mistreat someone. Being homeless is not a crime; it’s a cry for help.
Zeenat
A tribute to Sammy B <3
Sam Beckenham was a 25 year old busker who was known by the whole of Bristol as naked Jesus. Sadly, on October 24th, Sam lost his life to suicide and it’s really affected both those within the homeless community and those outside of it. He had no fixed address, but I would almost always see him in town on my way to work, and he never failed to show love and affection. You were a friend to even those that didn’t know it.
I’m sorry the system failed you, Sam; I’m sorry we did, too. Sleep tight.
Organisations you can turn to:
The Night Shelter is located on Little Bishop Street, just off St Paul’s. They provide shelter, beds, hygiene facilities, and food. Extra services are also sometimes provided, such as vaccinations, etc. If you know someone who is sleeping rough – or would like to volunteer – give them a shout!
Shelter are a well-known charity – not just across Bristol but across the UK, too! They help millions of people a year with housing support and legal services.
A non-profit organisation run by a few friends of the homeless community. Every 4-6 weeks they go down to the Bearpit in Bristol City Centre and hand out things people have donated like clothes, food, hygiene essentials, etc. There is also a barber on their team to provide haircuts! They bring their music and their free-spirits to come together as a family for those that feel like they don’t belong. Much respect for taking the Bearpit back from the gentry.
These guys not only help with housing issues, but are also currently running thirteen other specialist projects to help young people.
The goal is to help vulnerable and homeless people rebuild their lives. St Mungo’s not only do their bit, but also work with other charities to ensure people are being given the right facilities. The Compass Centre in Stokes Croft have hopped on board, as well as several hostels. They also manage a few mental health services (ACE, Bristol Mens Crisis House, The Sanctuary), which is incredibly helpful for those that have been seriously affected by their situation.
Upcoming dates for Help the Homeless:
4th December: Haircuts, toiletries, food, and lots of donated things available, as well as music and general good vibes – also the group’s 1 year anniversary!
24th December: Provision of haircuts, food and toiletries in the Bearpit – proper Christmassy stuff.
A message from the organiser:
‘We came together as group of friends to help those on our city’s streets; we can’t offer them homes, but we can add a little comfort to their lives – even if it’s only for a short while. It truly warms my heart to see everyone coming together from all ages and walks of life. It restores my faith in humankind.’
Activist self-care — 08/12/2016
Hey there troopers,
It’s been a hard few weeks, huh? Particularly for those of that see yourself as an activist. Despite the political maelstrom, it’s important to remember to take care of yourself. Being an activist comes with a lot of blah, but it doesn’t have to wear you out 24/7.
It’s perfectly okay to feel exhausted. Your exhaustion is valid because activist burnout is a real thing, and there are ways you can get through it. Understand that being selfish isn’t always a bad thing – it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes, considering all the other times you’re giving it your all to ensure unity is a possible consequence. It is not your responsibility to take on the burden of educating the masses; your health is important, too.
So, if you’re the friend that “gets a bit too into it”, this one’s for you!
Symptoms – Notice when you’re burning out.
Everyone experiences different symptoms, but a few include fatigue, isolation, lack of motivation, guilt and insomnia to name just a few. No matter what you’re feeling, I promise you that feeling is valid. It’s a normal response and you’ll find many other activist buddies will be feeling similarly. You are not alone.
Solutions – Stop… now take a step back
Now that you are able identify a burn out, the moment you feel like you’re gravitating in that direction just stop and take a breath. Go for a short walk to the sink. Grab a glass of water, and get something to eat. A loss of appetite is common in overwhelming situations, so try to keep a routine of food and movement to keep yourself awake and alert. Stay hydrated. Why not also try working though some mindfulness exercises to calm down, too.
Sign off – Step away from the Internet
Media is one of the biggest triggers for activist burnouts, because news is everywhere. I can understand that it can be draining to watch hateful videos and comments fill up your news feed, so sometimes signing off for a few days can do you the world of good. If you think people will worry, you can leave a status or a message, but don’t feel like you owe anyone an explanation. This is healing time and if you need to deactivate accounts, cut off some people, or even isolate yourself for a little while in order to breathe and sleep, you have every right to do so.
Support–Reach out to friends and family…
…Or anyone on the same level as you. Reaffirm your identity and self-worth with people who can relate. Try to avoid any political discussion whilst you’re in these moments, as it’ll allow your noggins to take a break, but also know that this is a group you can confide in, should you need to. You do not have to remain in contact with those that emotionally or mentally drain you, and you have every right to terminate relationships you don’t think will be beneficial for your growth as a person.
—
You have dealt with a lot, and some may think it’s not enough. Feeling overwhelmed or numb is okay; let yourself feel, and let nobody stop you from doing so. Whether the backlash gets better or worse tomorrow, stand tall and stand your ground, and let the new sunrise give you strength. You’ve been doing really well and how you are feeling is perfectly valid. YOU are valid. We’ve got this.
Peace and love, (and also come and get a hug if you need one)
Zeenat Afzal
A photograph showing the legs and feet of a group of people sitting on the leaf-covered ground.
Stigmatisation of mental illness: we're not bad people — 15/12/2016
Everyone has mental health, but mental illness affects 1 in 4 people every year. Due to the negative stigmas around metal illnesses, people’s attitudes have resulted in the demonization and isolation of those that are struggling with their mental health. The embarrassment that stems from these stigmas prevents people from reaching out for the right kind of help. We need to change this.
You don't need a psychology degree to understand mental illness. We've got the internet: educate yourself. It might feel alien because it doesn't affect you, but you'd be surprised - with so many people affected, it's never far away. In order to progress, we need to educate ourselves on mental illness, and its causes and symptoms. By understanding that, we will be able to address ‘cr*zy’ behaviour as an actual symptom and be able to help out the person who is suffering.
One key tip is to understand that the friend, sibling or co-worker suffering with a mental illness is, first and foremost, a human being. Their mental health affects their daily life and those close to them. Despite these disruptions, a lot of those that are suffering with mental illness are able to function pretty well to the public eye. However, this isn't always true. A lot of the time, the fear of being ‘found out’ is overwhelming. These fears develop from being called ‘attention seekers’ or ‘ps*chos’. For many people, these aren't just words. They have weight and can hurt, so be careful when you speak. Let people know that you're there for them and that support is not far away.
As a person of South Asian-descent, it was difficult to explain how I was feeling without being made to feel shame or isolation. Often, the causes for certain mental illnesses in South Asian families, such as PTSD, are dismissed - especially when they involve another member of the family. (It is common for South Asian families to prioritise the defence of their ‘family name’ above addressing the issues faced by their child.) This can cause a lot of repression and can later develop into severe depersonalisation.. However, it must be stated that not everyone shares this experience; I am here referring primarily to the way in which PTSD has affected me. Different people have different illnesses, and even people with the same illness can experience different symptoms. So, listen to those that need help and support them in a way that’ll benefit their health.
As a person of South Asian-descent, it was difficult to explain how I was feeling without being made to feel shame or isolation. Often, the causes for certain mental illnesses in South Asian families, such as PTSD, are dismissed - especially when they involve another member of the family. (It is common for South Asian families to prioritise the defence of their ‘family name’ above addressing the issues faced by their child.) This can cause a lot of repression and can later develop into severe depersonalisation..
However, it must be stated that not everyone shares this experience; I am here referring primarily to the way in which PTSD has affected me. Different people have different illnesses, and even people with the same illness can experience different symptoms. So, listen to those that need help and support them in a way that’ll benefit their health.
Let’s face it, as helpful as it is, having your diagnosis go public can affect a lot of your relationships. As people struggling with an illness, we’re often beating ourselves up about how we react to things, and how we feel about things, but it’s okay. Having a sick brain doesn’t make you a bad person, and wanting to talk about it doesn’t make you an attention seeker.
You have every right to be as happy and as content as everyone else.
So take a breath, and forgive yourself for the years that mental illness took from you, but remember the importance of acknowledging your own behaviour and communicating with those that can help you. There’s no shame in reaching out.
Peace, love and sugar puffs
Zeenat Afzal.
A close-up photo of a pair of glasses on a window sill. The view through the lens is in focus and clear.
I'm BAck — 25/01/2017
cw: mention of death, suicide
I’m Back! Hello! If this is your first time on my blog, then hello and welcome. If not then wuddduuupppp, guys! Hope you all had a lovely holiday (‘hiatus’ if you’re at university), and that you were able to start 2017 the way you had planned. If your holiday was not so lovely, it’s okay; I’m glad you’re back in an environment in which you’re comfortable.
You got this.
Sadly, I haven’t really had much planned – or structured – regarding a welcome back post, so I’m just gonna narrow my drivel down to three main points: Firstly, I’d like to take a brief moment to remember those that didn’t make it. We’ve lost souls to natural causes, to mental illness, and even to the decisions of governments. If you’ve lost someone: well done for staying strong. And to those that didn’t think they’d make it, I’m proud of you.
Secondly, Winter can seriously take its toll on us hooman beans, so don’t feel disheartened if you’re lacking motivation or struggling with basic routines. Even if you feel that reading this is a bit of a challenge, come back to it later. Be kind to yourselves because nobody will learn how to love you more than you do.
Thirdly, I love my mama. I just wanted to put that out there. I understand some people don't love their mums…but I do. She had a lot of involvement in my empowerment over the holidays and has supported me every step of the way. I struggle to maintain relationships, even with my mum, so I’m quite proud at how far we’ve come as a unit.
I’ve realised that I am worth far more than I’ve believed for these last few years, and I mean far more to people than the system likes to have me believe. So, this paragraph is to let you guys know that I am not playing any games this year. I will not be unconditionally patient, and I will not be sparing people my compassion where it is wasted. So, thank you mama – my Queen – for teaching me to know my worth and add tax.
Having said that, though, I’m willing to sit down and help people with getting educated on social and racial politics, and provide help and information where it is needed. I’m not that cold.
Peace, love and sugar puffs
Zeenat x
A photo showing a bookcase filled with books.
Need an Excuse to Procrastinate? Well, Here It Is! — 26/01/2017
So, we’re coming to the end of January and, for a lot of you, that means deadlines; the ‘D’ that nobody wants anything to do with. I know it’s starting to feel like a bit of a shambles and the fear of inadequacy is looming over you, but I promise it’ll be over soon.
Hands up those of you who were told you were an A* student. 'Gifted and talented’? Feel like you're doing worse now than you did in school?
Well, that isn’t your fault.
The current education system has been proven to have adverse effects on its students. While baby boomers and Generation X happily label us ‘lazy’ and ‘stubborn’, we’re crying ourselves to sleep in the vain hope that next time the word count will be half as high.
Not because we’re lazy – because standards are way too high. We're expected to simultaneously:
Maintain a (poorly-paid) job
Keep up with reading
Complete coursework (several thousand words apiece)
Eat well
Sleep well
Socialise
AND make it to every taught course session
How?
Students aren't taken seriously, and there's still very little regard for the damage done to youth mental health by perpetually looming deadlines.
If you're feeling overwhelmed, take a moment. Contact a senior tutor (it's what they're there for).
Grab a glass of water, maybe a snack. You can do this (even though you shouldn't have to).
You are NOT inadequate, and you are gonna smash these deadlines out of the park. And even if you don’t, so what? A grade on a piece of paper does not define your intelligence or your character.
Stay strong guys, gals, and non-binary pals. I believe in you, so it’s high time you believe in you, too. If you require direct support, reach out to the Wellbeing service at your studying facility; know that there is ALWAYS someone there for you, and you’re never going to have to do this on your own.
Peace, love, and sugar puffs.
Zeenat.
The photo is blurred, showing someone typing in the comments section on Facebook.
Getting Called Out (Step Back and Self-Crit) — 02/03/2017
Getting called out can be incredibly unnerving, I know. Getting called out publicly probably feels a lot worse. However, these feelings are completely natural. Being able to take accountability for your actions is really difficult to do when our society teaches us that everyone is ‘entitled to an opinion’. The problem with this is that people will use certain ‘opinions’ to silence those who don’t hold the same privileges as them. Know that being called out doesn’t make you a bad person, try to see it more as a means of direct education.
So, first and foremost: if you happen to get called out, try to step back and analyse the situation. The need to deflect and derail will come naturally (which develops from the natural response of embarrassment) and that’s completely understandable; I mean, who actually enjoys being told they’re wrong? It’s important that the topic is consistent to ensure a solution is possible. Examples of deflection and derailing are counter-attacks such as ‘not all men’ and ‘the Irish were slaves, too’. This can be interpreted as a means of silencing, which a lot of the time is not intentional. It is important to acknowledge harmful behaviours, despite the harmless intentions behind them.
When called out, the most natural response is to fight - to jump straight to defence mode. I feel you. Instead, try to go over the situation and figure out exactly where you went wrong. Understand that not all people will want to give their two-cents, and neither do they have to; learn to make this guy your best friend. It is not the responsibility of marginalised people to come and collect you, especially if something you have said/done has triggered them in some way. Trauma from oppression can have long-term effects; not just on the individual, but also generations after. However, do not feel like you cannot call out problematic behaviours just because you hold a privilege. The importance here is to speak up and not over – prioritise the voices of the voiceless.
What’s important to realise is that there is nothing wrong in acknowledging that we don’t know everything and there is always, always room for improvement. Your brain is always working; always wanting to learn more. Keep your mind open to the idea that you might just mess up sometimes and need to be checked. By checking your privileges, you’ll be able to keep it from disrupting harmonious relationships.
Truth is, we’re all still learning. We all have a lot of learning – and growing – to do and we won’t be able to do it together if we don’t step back and take the time to acknowledge our own privileges. There is no shame in accountability. As Fabolous once said: ‘egos trip but the humble doesn’t stumble’.
I do hope that was informative enough for you guys, gals and non-binary pals, despite the short-and-sweet feel (check out this article if you’d like some elaboration). Any concerns then drop me a message either on Facebook or Twitter.
Peace, love, and sugar puffs
Zeenat